Beyonce Knowles  10/24/2008

Beyonce is changing her name. Yes, that Beyonce. A woman that has launched a thousand projects including a clothing line, a perfume, solo albums and a recent marriage to fellow entrepreneur Jay-Z; Beyonce is celebrated the world over as (forgive me Sarah Palin) a maverick. The name Beyonce is like a trademark, in fact, I’m pretty sure that one has to pay for the rights to use it. Beyonce has spent a decade building up her career and brands to the unparalleled level of success they have now reached. Now, we will have to forget Beyonce and embrace (drum roll please) Sasha Fierce. The Artist formerly known as Beyonce has announced that for her upcoming double-album, due November 18, she will be adopting the moniker Sasha Fierce. When questioned about the unusual name, she replied, “I have someone else that takes over when it's time for me to work and when I'm on stage, this alter ego that I've created that kind of protects me and who I really am. Sasha Fierce is the fun, more sensual, more aggressive, more outspoken side and more glamorous side that comes out when I'm working and when I'm on the stage.” Also, “Sasha” will be giving one lucky fan the opportunity to win swag valued at $500 dollars and a personal message on her myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/sashafierce). In my opinion, this is a horrible idea. The whole world knows and loves Beyonce for her fabulosity and diva style paired with a kind and caring attitude.  While stage names are not uncommon (think Marilyn Monroe and Miley Cyrus) Sasha Fierce sounds too much like Christian Siriano’s catchphrase, not the new era for an international singer renowned like Beyonce. If I had a name worth millions of dollars in trademark value, I’d never change it. However, I guess that with success comes power, responsibility and the right to makeover your name.

While the story lines are superb, the series is riddled with historical inaccuracies that for some history buffs, may be hard to overlook. Contrary to the posts on the Yahoo! TV blog, the episode 1 depiction of Henry VIII's uncle's murder was not innaccurate. While Henry the VIII's father was an only child, his mother, Elizabeth of York had several siblings including two brothers. He did have an uncle. Also, there was a Treaty of Perpetual Peace - but it was between Scotland and England, not France and England as depicted in episode 2. Henry did have a close male friend named Charles Brandon, like the character on the show, who eventually became Duke of Suffolk. But he married Henry's younger sister, Mary, not Margaret. Henry's older sister, Margaret, was married to the king of Scotland, and from this marriage descends the Stuart house in England (episode 4).

Despite these creative liberties, for those who seek entertainment, the show is a must see. With the amazing backdrops and scenery of various castles and mansions scattered throughout Europe, absolutely exquisite period costumes and superb direction, this show is "good television" at it's finest. The writers have a masterful way with their pen,s they seem to make the characters reveal their true intentions to gain superiority at court without really revealing the plan at all. It's is this quality which captivates the audience, The acting is a sight to behold. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is utterly and totally believable as the king who is all powerful but at the same time, struggling to shake the shadow of his fathers footsteps and his pretty boy image. The supporting cast is phenomenal, especially Sam Neil's masterful portrayal of the corrupt and conniving Cardinal Wolsey. With all the sex (by the way, there are quite a few juicy sex scenes), scandal, and gossip of the Tudor dynasty, it's no wonder this show has created quite the stir among fans and critics alike. Offering my final words on the subject, I'm just very happy that Showtime renewed The Tudors for a second season.

The Zen of Dental Prophylaxis 4/26/2007
Let me be the first to applaud any reader who waded through Google or Yahoo to get here. Let's face it, DP (Dental Prophylaxis) better known as "teeth cleaning" is not the stuff of Internet buzz. Why is it Zen? Wikipedia's intepretation of the Buddha Siddhartha Gautama's teachings tells us that Zen is "a "special transmission outside the scriptures that points to each individual practitioner's inherent Buddha-nature." That pretty much describes the special relationship between the young thing wielding the sharp pointed stainles steel objects and the object of her attentions reclining in the dentist chair.

So, as the hapless recipient of Prophylaxis, how should you behave? What character clues should you let slip through that "special transmission channel"? Can one appear too eager to receive the ministrations? What level of cooperation is politic? Since the advent of suction, swallowing the awful stuff that pools in your mouth has clearly become outre. And yet, does requesting that bent hissing tube more often than some civilized threshold suggest an excessive concern for cleanliness symptomatic of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)?

Where do we draw the line between what is reasonable and what becomes overly aggressive demands for a rinse? Studies have shown that nearly everything alimentary in nature contains some trace of alcohol. Even the lowly glass of orange juice contains measurable amounts. So, what about the mouthwash comprising that rinse? Gotta be at least 5 to 10 proof pure alcool. Start getting too heavy on the rinse and you could wind up facing a DUI. Imagine the dialog when they pull you in to the pokey for inability to drive a straight line after leaving the dentist's office. Brought in to the local precinct. Placed on the bench awaiting processing next to the other malfeasers. The baddest one of all starts in, "Whatcha in for?". Grinning maniacally while showing your (now-polished) incisors you respond, "Getting my teeth cleaned". And all the other malfeasers move to the far side of the bench. (With apologies to Arlo G.)

Often wondered if hygienists have a special lingo: gagger, biter, drooler for example. What do they actually write down as they dig away at your oral cavities? "Found a pearl today. Just under the right bicuspid. Lovely thing, luminous white only slightly obscured by yesterday's spinach". Maybe it's just the grocery list. "Found a fleck of tomato, reminds me that we are planning spaghetti for tonight, better get a can of Progresso". But it all really get's back to the Zen thing. Do Type A folks tend to keep their mouth's closed. Do the really easy going folks just leave it open? How long can you hold your breath? Do you mouth breathe? Or try to breathe through your nose. Is somebody out there counting how many hygienists pass out from overly hearty oral exhalations?

There have been books written about emotional communications expressed through body language but, oddly enough, no exploration of the even greater opportunities for physical expression between the hygienist and the patient. Seems like somebody somewhere could fashion a peg to fill that hole.

Buying A Car 3/23/2007
"Buy cheap, sell high". That's what my sainted stepmother has always told me. Seems pretty obvious until you look at the business news and check the trading volumes on days that stock prices are headed downhill. The traders are all selling, selling low. So, looks like most people blithely ignore the "sell high" part of her dictum. Let's look at the "buy cheap". You're in the market for a new car. Study the mags, Road &Track, Motor Trend, Car & Driver, read the reliability pages of Consumer Reports, oh yeah, read the Dan Neil columns for the visceral spin and then you come up with your choice of automobile, the gem that really does it for you. Then ya gotta go deal with the low lifes (sic) at the dealership. You could deal on the web. But there is that issue of delayed gratification. On the web you have to reveal your name, address, email and phone number to somebody or some organization who has put up the web page for profit. Is this just going to open you up to spam and harrassing phone calls? You bet it is. More of those See Alice offerings and invitations to visit that jewel of the Italian landscape, the Via Gra. Then you have to wait to get the emailed quote. Then you have to go down and see what it is they are actually offering to sell you.

There is a better way. The main issue when you walk in the door of RipOffs'R Us is that you really have no idea what that slickly put out salesman's bottom price will be. He's gonna wheedle and push and make you wait while those fictitious negotiations with his "buyer manager" take place. But, let's face it, he's probably just gone to take a potty break while making you think he's pleading your offer with the higher ups. If you had the confidence, the knowledge of what that guy would settle for, then, my friend, life would be good. Walk in with a "take it or leave it" attitude and price and then give the dealership 5 minutes to make up their minds. Sure that invoice price that Consumer Reports is interesting, but, let's face it....things will cost what the market will bear. You picked out your car because you thought it was cool and would satisfy your needs. If it's really cool and rings your chimes; odds are that it looks cool to other folks too. So the dealer is just not going to sell the car at invoice. So, what's the bottom price the dealer will take?

A true story. Couple of years ago, we needed a car. Did the research. Looked at the Consumer Reports reliability stuff. Picked a car. Toyota Avalon. Reasonably big, roomy, peppy, reliable. Went down to the local dealership. Found a car. Silver, XL (lower trimline), leather, air, radio, heater and all the other stuff. Offering price? $29K. Drove the car. Great ride, wonderful experience. Went back in to haggle. Dealer immediately dropped $500. Said, "that's it, this is a popular car, we can't do better". We looked suitably sad, said," thanks, we'll have to think about it". Went home. Got on the web. Surfed over to CarsDirect.com. Put in the exact details of the dealership's car. Mashed the appropriate buttons and got a guaranteed low price for $26,500. What the guaranteed price means is that some dealer in our zip code was willing to sell the car at that price. So we printed out the details of the guaranteed low price and went back down to the dealer. Swaggered into the dealership, dumped the paper with the details on the sales guy's desk. "This is Our best and final offer" (BAFO for those in the know). And you know what? They folded! Yep. Walked out of the dealership with a new car at $26,500! The car we saw; the car we wanted, and no waiting. For 5 minutes work on the Net.

How did this work? All in your head. If you know you can find a lower price, you'll be confident and you won't feel victimized. Find a web site that actually provides quotes (see the list at the bottom). Go find your car. Carefully note all the options and details (each one you miss will give the dealer extra wiggle room). Important step: go home! As soon as you walk out, you've given the dealership an important message, "Don't need you, I can buy the car somewhere else". Now run the numbers off the web site. Print out the quote. For whatever reason, nothing speaks louder than an inanimate piece of paper. Go back to the dealership. And deal.

carsDirect
yahooCars
msnCars
cars.com

LNG jam in Long Beach. 3/18/2007
Every day seems to bring another item in the litany of bad news. Britney shaves her head. Could donate the proceeds to charity, but no...next thing you know, the locks show up on eBay, as reported by theBlemish. One million bucks per lock. Wow. In more serious news, the Senate failed to halt staying the course in Iraq. By a vote of 50 to 48, Senate rejected the resolution that set a goal of a withdrawal of troops by March 2008. Shows the power of the popular mandate. Can anybody still remember that election in the fall that reversed the congressional Republican majority -both houses that is- presenting the incumbent administration with pretty convincing proof of ripples in the popular mood. And of course there's the latest weather news. Warmest in recorded history. Thanks to Rep. Data Rohrabacher (R-CA) 49th District (Huntington Beach,Costa Mesa) we know that a strong causal agent in the past was dinosaur flatulence. Given that the total biomass of humanity at 6,583,145,067 may easily exceed the total biomass of dinosaurs during the Triassic and Mesozoic eras, it seems reasonable to propose that global warming could be stopped in its tracks by providing free Pepto Bismol and GasX samples to the developing world. Let's face it, the US has been bearing the brunt of criticism for CO2 emissions. Maybe the problem is methane-sourced flatulence. C'mon Congressman Rohrabacher, let's get a publicity campaign going; a little consensus on foreign aid and we could have this climate thing nipped in the bud!

But that's not the point of this rant. Remember all those articles about Sound Energy Solutions and the push to establish a LNG offload terminal in Long Beach (my backyard)? Well, looks a popular mandate worked for once. The following release of the Long Beach Board of Harbor Commissioners says it all

(Jan. 22, 2007, updated Jan. 23) -- LB's Board of Harbor Commissioners voted today (Jan. 22) to halt environmental review of a proposal by Sound Energy Solutions to build a Liquefied Natural Gas (LNG) facility at the Port of Long Beach.

Wow. And then the newly elected mayor weighed in

LB Mayor Bob Foster by letter informed SES that he will not support its LNG proposal, stating in part, "Nothing in my continuing review of the EIR, response to questions from the Port, commentary by the California Public Utilities Commission or other documentation has substantiated the viewpoint that this project ensures the safety of Long Beach residents to my satisfaction. Further, I continue to believe that locating such a large processing and storage facility at the gate of America's commerce pipeline is simply ill advised. As such, this letter is to inform you that I will not support of [sic] a Sound Energy Solutions LNG facility proposal at the Port of Long Beach."

Let's face it, Bob Foster said in his campaign that he would not support the LNG project. But what do mere campaign promises mean anyway. Looks like they do actually mean something. In Long Beach

Commanding acres of real estate on the Business and Technology page, Chris Hawthorne's article toiled endlessly and painfully to create a deep heartfelt message, if network connectivity becomes ubiquitous, people will use it. Wow. His thesis, connectivity is "turning every corner park and sidewalk bench into a possible home for the kind of coffeehouse culture" that will lead to "noticeable increase in the odd sort of public, shared alienation already on display in cafes everywhere, with people packed in next to one another but staring into their own individual screens".

So, what is the point of all this? Are we better off without universal connectivity? The Paper has been running equally poignant articles about providing Internet connectivity to the disadvantaged. Did we really just get to see this populist rag run an article decrying a vision that would help those folks? What really brought it home was an offhand comment buried deeper down, "But free wireless service doesn't mean a whole lot if you can't afford a laptop."

Brought back that nascent queasiness this writer feels when reading just about anything in the LATimes that covers some particular technical, political, or -thanks to Allie - some cultural topic I actually know something about. Believe it or not, wireless service works with Any computer. Just needs a wireless card or USB plugin. Cost? $10 at Fryes or sometimes even free thanks to rebate coupons. Talk about a boon for the disadvantaged. But of course, with the superficial level of expertise resident at the Times, these kinds of omissions are tolerated, maybe even encouraged in pursuit of the Message.

Why should we care? Whatever the motives, universal connectivity can only narrow the cultural divide between haves and havenots. It provides a common context between the elite with their laptops and the poor folks with their 5 year old freestanding MaxiTower PC's. For once Mayor Villaraigosa should be applauded rather than excoriated.

A Global Phenomenon. 1/17/06
Myspace.com. Oh, what an infamous url. Home to music, movies, and one of the greatest social networks ever created. A place where you will find millions of teenagers and young adults, online all day and every day, Myspace has become the new instant messager, the new stall tool in helping to delay homework, commitments, a way to lose yourself in cyberspace, the wondrous vortex of the world wide web.
For baby boomers and older adults to understand the appeal of MySpace, they must reflect upon their own childhood and think about any antics they pulled, any behaviors used in stalling the onset of homework and extracurricular activities. Whether they hung out at the beach, chilled at friend's houses or went for bike rides, baby boomers also had stall tactics. The X generation just takes the stall tactic to the next level, making it mainstream and world-wide.

Parents don't understand the appeal of a site like MySpace, they fear online predators, and pedophiles who might prey on their children. For teens, however, MySpace is a place to pretend, a place to be is popular, to have truck loads of friends. For others, it is a place to discover the newest indie bands before your friends, and then be the music trend setter. And finally, for the teen that shares a two bedroom house with their parents and two siblings, it is their own Space, a place they can call their own. While parents might not understand the idea of leaving “comments” for everyone to see, teens regard the number of comments as a status symbol. It is like an unspoken contest, everyone has a bulletin board and whoever has the prettiest one wins.
Myspace, then, is more than just a stall tactic, more than just a temporary escape form the boredom of every day life, but a continuation of the school day, similar to a popularity contest. And if popularity has infiltrated the Internet, where will it head next?

Doing My Part. 1/1/2007
We all have regrets. A major regret in my life is that I did not do my best to keep my American Girl doll in pristine condition. My first American girl doll was the rare Felicity doll; she was the first doll with a flesh colored body enhanced by low revealing necklines on her gowns . Felicity hit the skids, and was discontinued in 2002. She was revamped and brought back in 2005, but I own the original. One fateful day, four years ago, I lent beloved Felicity to my little sister. Little did I know, but the combination of my sister, glitter nail polish, and our American Girl dolls would prove disastrous. So now, as I ponder my situation of dealing with a carmine-red cuticle-enhanced Armerican Girl doll, completely ruined for resale to a collector, I ask myself the question, What uses are there for old American Girl dolls? As a concerned member of the incoming generation, I know to do my best to help the environment. Avoid adding to the ecological load. Keep the landfills free for truly valuable waste. After wading through the deep, thought provoking insight I received from from my family and friends, I offer the following list.

1. American Girl Dolls as a Depth tester. Every inch, make a mark with a sharpie on the body of the doll. Tie it to a string and dip into an area of unknown depth. Where the liquid hits the mark, that's your depth.
2. American Girl Dolls as Boat Bumpers. Hung over the side of the boat, they prevent the dock from scatching the side of the boat. They also have the added bonus of acting as bait for anyfish/sharks you might be looking to attract.
3. American Girl Dolls as Speed Bumps. You know your teenage daughter is speeding, so why not throw a couple of dolls in her path to slow her down?
4. American Girl Dolls as Archery Targets. For the master archer only. Extra points are awarded if an arrow pierces the eye or nose.
5. American Girl Dolls as Kindling. if needed you can break into small pieces for easier lighting. In my experience, the pinkies make ideal fire starters. Should be declared mandatory equipment for anyone venturing into the wild.
6. American Girl Dolls as an Emergency Life Saving Raft. Alternate head leg head leg and tie tgether with twine and tie them together. All aboard matey!
7. Amercian Girl Dolls as Holiday Ornaments. Maybe that Samantha doll will be a new angel for the top of your christmas tree?